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It cracks me up.  Well, Kindergarten Cop, in this case, it is a tumor.  And actually because it’s A. Big. Deal.tm to analyze some of these things, my bloom allowance advantage for the year capped out three weeks afore this analysis came in, aloof one ages afterwards my new allowance year began.  And I ran out of FlexCare dollars ancient in August, too.

It’s hilarious.  I anticipation it was affectionate of awe-inspiring that the doctor’s arrangement alleged me at 8:30 at night with this account of lab results.  I was sitting in my active room, accurately account bottomward all the after-effects as the assistant was advertisement them, and afresh aback I got a arctic and aggregate about me became all blurry.  What?  What?  What?  She wasn’t able to acknowledgment any of my questions.  “Wait a minute.  If I accept A and additionally C and F, G, H, I, and S and T and W and Z, doesn’t that beggarly I accept TUMOR?”  She said she couldn’t acknowledgment that.  But she did accept an arrangement for me to see A Brain Doctortm the aing day.  

It’s absurdly funny.  My better catechism — which, again, she could not acknowledgment — was this: “I accept no added health-insurance advantage for this year, so aggregate I pay from now until the end of the year comes out of my pocket.  Do you anticipate I actually accept to see this specialist afore my new allowance year begins?”  Her alone response, afterwards a continued pause: “Dr. Too-Cowardly-to-Call-Me-Himself-at-8:30-P.M. believes you charge to see Dr. Brain Doctor tomorrow.”

Well, I absolutely didn’t feel I could accomplish a high-stakes banking charge that fast. So I put off the Brain Doctor arrangement for a few weeks while I did some analysis to see whether I could allow this diagnosis, or whether I should bend for a cheaper one.

Pure ball gold.  I did the research: If I adjudge not to be treated, I’m apparently activity to die.  And I’ve still got one adolescent in academy and a granddaughter who needs me.  So aftermost Monday morning on my way to work, I took all my acclaim cards to the Brain Doctor’s arrangement and laid them out on the adverse in advanced of the agents who accord with banking issues.  

“I apperceive this is activity to complete weird, but I absolutely charge your help.  This is what I’ve got,” I said.  “I’ve got $60 larboard on this card, and about $95 on this one.  There’s additionally about $150 on this one, but I charge best of that for gas and groceries.  I apperceive how awe-inspiring this sounds, and possibly alike sarcastic, but could you ask Dr. Brain Doctor if he could aloof booty a quick attending at my analysis after-effects so far and added doctors’ addendum in my book [I accept 14 added specialists, as this is a actual complicated medical bearings and that’s why I’m insurance-broke so anon into the budgetary year] and acquaint me whether I accept abundant on my acclaim cards to pay for any affliction at all–anything whatsoever–until my new allowance year comes up?  I’ll accept about $2,500 in January with my FlexCard, and I assumption maybe some added money by afresh as well.  But my credit’s broke out, and I don’t accept a accomplished lot of cash.  I’m activity to accept to acquire aggregate I’ll charge to pay you, and I charge to get some abstraction of how abundant I’ll charge to earn.”

Cue the archetypal deer-in-the-headlights double-take.  Seeing the attending on the woman’s face, I affected her acquaint agilely and said quietly, “I know, and I’m absolutely apologetic to put you in this position.  But I accept to know.  Here’s my acquaintance information.  If you could get aback to me ancient in the aing day or so, I would really, absolutely acknowledge it.  You accept no abstraction how adamantine it is to accept to ask this favor.”

A few hours later, I had a call.  Could I appear in to allocution with Dr. Brain Doctor?  Twenty hours later, I had an email from a foundation that deals with patients with this diagnosis, and they were acknowledging a appeal from my doctor to awning some of my medication copays.  Another foundation was blockage into my doctor’s barometer to awning my barometer to a centermost in Maryland that is a Centermost of Excellence for this condition.  Dr. Brain Doctor isn’t charging me for arrangement visits, and he’s award a way to get the lab accuse taken affliction of, too.

Stop me if you’ve heard this antic before. This isn’t a holistic answer.  It’s what one doctor was accommodating and able to do for one patient.  One doctor and one patient.  Times millions of needs that aren’t actuality met, because who has time to accord with all of this on a case-by-case and doctor-by-doctor basis?

Funny, isn’t it?  Truth be told, the allowance companies accept the time.  They accept the time to accomplish it so adamantine for our doctors and us to dness problems like this that this accurate adventure becomes a phenomenon adventure of bodies advantageous absurd odds.

And here’s the punchline: They’re authoritative a killing at it.

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